


The Pr96lematics 9f Culling

by silverstardust



Series: The Musings and Essays 9f Kankri Vantas [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beforus Culling (Homestuck), Kankri talks about culling, Kankri writes an essay, Little bit of Beforus History, Mental Health Issues, POV Kankri Vantas, mentions of abuse, not quirked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 10:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13246215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverstardust/pseuds/silverstardust
Summary: While the culling system on Beforus can be seen as a practical and beneficial system to copy into the blooming society of “Earth C” (as it is currently called), it could, and most likely will, have disastrous effects on the society as a whole, with lingering effects for centuries should it (for whatever reason) be removed. The system is full of flaws and horrendously outdated beliefs, and has a notorious record of causing internal and external prejudice, as well as being choked full to the brim of practices that, even on Alternia, in all it’s malevolent, casteist views, declared as levels of abuse that crossed the lines of even kismesissitude.---Kankri talks about culling.





	The Pr96lematics 9f Culling

While the culling system on Beforus can be seen as a practical and beneficial system to copy into the blooming society of “Earth C” (as it is currently called), it could, and most likely will, have disastrous effects on the society as a whole, with lingering effects for centuries should it (for whatever reason) be removed. The system is full of flaws and horrendously outdated beliefs, and has a notorious record of causing internal and external prejudice, as well as being choked full to the brim of practices that, even on Alternia, in all it’s malevolent, casteist views, declared as levels of abuse that crossed the lines of even kismesissitude. While not every troll suffered through these treatments and injustices, they were practiced enough that nine out of every ten culled trolls suffered through at least one of them. 

 

The more common of the practices were claw trimming (or removal), teeth filing, foot binding, emotional manipulation, internalized prejudice (that can turn into a savior complex for cullers and a self-hate for cullees), limited access to the outside world, via internet, going outside, or other means, mental manipulation, and, in the more extreme of cases, emotional and mental abuse, subject to torture by mind control or voodoo, and pedophiliac or forced relations. On some instances, even strict diets (that can later cause health complications and intolerances to foods) and denial of a recuperacoon (a more serious matter on Alternia and Beforus, as horrorterrors would plague the minds of all trolls, with sopor slime blankets even half as effective as a coon) could be imposed on the troll, and none of this is even mentioning how this system recreated the hemospectrum from the shadows, despite rampant denial that there was one in the first place and that it was the driving force of normal society.

 

Due to the culling practice, those deemed unable to take care of themselves are placed under the care of someone who could, usually a cooler blood of the CIP (Cerulean/Indigo/Purple) or Royal-V classes, or on rare occasions, a Jade blood, as their lifespan would be long enough to support someone from the BUOY (Burgundy/Umber/Ochre/Yellow-Green) side of the spectrum. Slowly, this ideal leaked into all other aspects of Beforian society, and after a few centuries, warmbloods of the lower end of the spectrum found it difficult or impossible to get more public careers, or start businesses, because it was considered cruel to let them do so. They would die “tragically young” due to their short lifespans, and it simply just wasn’t considered fair. The last warmblood to have a public job was an actress a hundred sweeps before the Great Beforian Civil War (another topic for a later time).

 

These practices performed by cullers upon their cullees commonly led to multiple issues, such as depression, suicidal tendencies, social anxiety disorders, along with shock (the medical definition of the term) caused by removal of body parts, food intolerances as I have mentioned before, as well as developed trust issues. Most of these issues can be seen in my own specific culling case.

 

I was culled since the day I was hatched. I have been told, and have found legal documents to provide evidence that my specific culling case was overlooked by the Empress and her Grand Advisor. I was placed under the care of an indigo blood who was deemed as the perfect culler for my case. 

 

I know I am not her first cullee. I also know her previous cullee, a blind ochre blood, committed suicide. While the reports state that it was an accident, that due to their unfortunate disability, they stumbled off the roof. However, I personally believe that their body was found too far away from the building to have stumbled off. I believe that they jumped.

 

As a wriggler, I was not permitted to play outside with other trolls. I was told that, as a mutant, I was too delicate and fragile to play with them. When I was two sweeps, on two separate occasions, I was taken to the emergency room for virtually nothing. One of those times, it was when I bumped my head against the table, retrieving something I had dropped. She believed I had gotten a concussion. The other time, I had fallen and scraped my knee. She thought I might’ve broken my leg. This treatment happened throughout my life. Every minor inconvenience to any other troll was treated as life threatening for me. I was always treated as if I were still a grub.Up until SGRUB, I had never dressed myself or bathed myself. Every morning, she chose my clothes for the day and expected me to let her dress me, and brush my hair as if I were a doll. (I was never allowed to wear my own blood color either. I always wore hers and her sign, or hemoanonymus colors.) In the evening, she would wash me, and expect me to let her. 

 

Throughout my life, I was also kept on a strict diet. I could only have certain foods. I was never allowed to have meat or sweets, and very little amounts of starches or grains. Slowly, I began to develop intolerances to these foods. 

 

The first time I had a slice of cake was when I was seven sweeps. A friend of mine had baked a cake to celebrate having spent one sweep in SGRUB. I think I managed one bite before I had to excuse myself and go outside to puke. The first time I had meat was the same result. Another friend wanted me to try something he had made with rice and fish, and other things. I managed a couple bites of that, but I was sick for the rest of the night. (Even now, after having been in the Dream Bubbles for an eternity and a half, I still find it difficult to eat even small quantities of chocolate or meat.)

 

I believe I was three when I suddenly developed irrational fears. Although I had been outside before by myself and had listened to the sound of bells before, I found myself afraid of going outside by myself, and the sound of bells would make me freeze up. Yet nothing happened to me that would logically explain my newfound fears. Multiple therapy sessions, as well as controlled, observed experiments have resulted in deciding that the cause of such developments was the use of voodoo. While I was able to force myself to overcome my fear of the outside by necessity of survival, I have been going to “therapy recovery sessions” where I have the effects of the voodoo abuse slowly undone.

 

I was also three when my culler began the foot binding process, as small feet were seen as practical, attractive, and ideal, especially for cullees, who were typically seen as small and dainty looking. I always suspected, however, that there were other reasons behind it as well. It began happening shortly after I twisted my ankle during a dance class I was taking. She took me to a mediculler, who took bright violet ribbons, and bent my feet, then tied them that way. It hurt quite a bit, and even now it still does. It made it hard to walk. Needless to say, it’s hard to dance when you can barely walk without pain.

 

I was frustrated by this. Because of this process, I could no longer dance. Because being on my feet for long periods of time now hurt me, I was pulled from feeder school, so I could no longer learn. And as typical treatment for cullees, I did not have open access to the internet or books. Anything that was to come to me had to pass by her first- I usually only had access to the dictionary, the Mirthful Messiahs’ Bible, or about kindergarten level books. Because I had difficulty climbing in and out of a coon, she replaced with a reclining plane and sopor blankets (which, I reiterate, do NOT work even half as well as an actual coon). I became quite restless, and developed a habit of compulsively scratching myself. After I accidentally cut myself open a few times with my claws, my culler took me in and had them removed. When I switched to biting or chewing my lip, the first couple times after I split my lip open with my fangs, she took me in to get them filed down to flat, human like teeth. (And while this doesn’t sound like too much of an issue, all of a sudden it became incredibly hard to chew afterwards.) This left me constantly stressed, with no outlets to let it out. And so it slowly grew in pressure. I began to have an incredibly short temper, and began to snap at my culler. Why couldn’t I read that book? What was specifically wrong with it? Why couldn’t I talk with my friends longer? You spend much more time on a screen than I do and your eyes are perfectly fine. She began to use a silver bell on me, which further confirmed my belief she had used voodoo to make me frightened by bells. If I argued or snapped at her, she would ring the bell, and I would, instinctively, stiffen and quiet. If I became short-tempered with her quadrants (who were allowed to paw me whichever way they decided), she would ring the bell. Any sort of misstep out of line, whether intentional or not, she rung the bell.

 

A troll’s first instinct in seeing a troll in such a state it to retrieve their moirail, because it can be clearly seen that they should probably calm down some. But cullees- typically- were not allowed to have quadrants. It was seen as cruel to let an “invalid” troll to produce further invalid trolls. Most are even sterilized forcibly. Even the non-conspicuous quadrants can be denied, or will be decided upon as who the diamond is, is up to the culler.

 

This was about the time that… other things began to happen.

 

See, while my culler had a diamond, and had had a diamond for quite a while, they were not a good match. While the dear tried, she simply just couldn’t make my culler has happy as a good diamond pair can. So sometimes, when my culler was stressed, and her diamond wasn’t around and wasn’t helping, she’d turn to me.

 

If I was angry, or snapped at her, she’d ring the bell as always. But afterwards, she would begin to comment on how upset and stiff I’d look. She took to piling me. For about one or two months, it was a very rare occurrence, and usually consisted of only cuddling, (a rather debated action- a note to humans, cuddling can be seen as platonic, pale, and flush). But she began to ring the bell for virtually no reason. When I reacted accordingly to the noise, she would pile me, but the actions increasingly grew away from culler-and-cullee territory to much more pale territory. But it bettered her own mood, so she continued. Shortly after, her moirail broke their diamond during one visit, screaming and spitting hell and spitfire at her for pale infidelity. That, I believe, is when I realized what was truly happening. But there was nothing I could’ve ever done to stop it.

 

After her moirail ceased to be around, the pilings happened more often, about once a day at most, three times a week at least. But of course, this was dependent on my own demeanor as well, designed from pervasion and pedophiliac behaviors, and the desire to keep me complacent about the situation and my environment.

 

A blanket-and-shirt pile began to take permanent residence in my respite block, and another one in her own. If she suspected I was upset in one way or another (or she herself was), she would pap and shush me until she believed I was calm (or she felt better). Sometimes, she would even go as far as to administer pale kisses.

 

I began to dread evenings. I can recall many sleepless nights trying to scrub or scratch my skin free of the phantom of her touch to no avail.

 

So I killed her.

 

I took a knife from the kitchen while she was sleeping and stabbed her until I was sure she could no longer be alive. And then I cut her up, put her in a bag, and carried her across town to the Beforian Capital Tower. I hung her from the entrance so everyone could see and wrote her crimes in her blood upon the front steps. And then I killed them all. I took the glowing pomegranate and ate its insides and entered the medium and killed them all by the meteors that rained down on the city. And not ever have I regretted it for a single instant. Not when I was heavily injured by imps, nor when I died and ascended, nor when Meenah killed us all, not even when I was stuck in the dream bubbles as some sick afterlife for an eternity and a half. And definitely not now.

 

The ideal result for a cullee is quiet. Complacent, gentle, obedient to all levels. Only speaks when spoken to. Soft looking, graceful, pure and innocent, and happy.

 

I am the result of culling in practice. Currently, I am in four different types of therapy (physical recovery, mental recovery, emotional and mental stabilization, and animal based therapy) and can barely remember my wrigglerhood on a good day to having repressed it for so long, burying it under everything else. I have developed disorders and unhealthy habits, and require dietary supplements to gain weight and overcome the intolerances that I have developed as well. Some days, I can barely walk the few steps needed from my respiteblock to the bathroom across the hall. I have developed a way with speech that drives others away so they can’t talk over me as if I’m not there. I shouldn’t, but for the longest time I truly believed if I made them hate me, they wouldn’t cull me, and habits die hard.

 

As someone who lived through the treatments of culling and continuously suffers the effects from it from a day to day basis, it disgusts me that there are people who want to bring this system back. The day I let someone bring this system back is the day I am seven feet under the earth.  Seeing how as I am a god, I can comfortably say this will never happen.

 

Sometimes I wonder what the sin of my ancestor was that made me deserve all of this.


End file.
